reflections

a jack of all (ok... mebbe not all... some) trades, but master at none.

a copier or a creator?

a follower or a leader?

of all the skills i have, i think i count myself pretty good at:
- computer stuff: searching the internet efficiently, using MS office...
- editing: i enjoy correcting my sister's n cousin's essays. ok... not all the time, but when i'm free, yeah...
- sketching: recently started sketching again out of boredom/stress. yesterday sketched Fuji-kun from Prince of Tennis episode 64. pretty happy abt my sketching skills - looks relatively proportionate. n sketched pooh today. でも, it's just copying exactly what i see... ...
- making kids happy: i adore kids. when they aren't driving me mad lar. kids do say the darnest things and when they do say what they say, they often say it in the most what?-nothing-wrong-with-what-i'm-saying look. =)

Problems...
i tend to become "juai" after a while but mostly jokingly... unless it is a matter i really have confidence in. but i still manage to piss at least 1 person off whenver i work in an office environment.

indecisiveness. that's probably my 致命穴。 coupled with passiveness, they make a deadly combination. passiveness got me into science... which is what i seem to have been doing all this time. It seems to be the natural choice to go into teaching but i don't really want that. Most people tell me that i'll be great at teaching, and I guess i might like teaching. but a rare bit of wisdom spouted from my sister that day: "i don't want to be in school all my life."

i guess i know that if i teach, i'll stick with it for a while, maybe even for life. which is why i don't want to teach right now. life is short - cliche but true - and i've already wasted time not trying out things which i would have liked to do. yet, i have no idea what i really want to do, and am just taking things as they come. perhaps it's this sense of being lost that is de-motivating me this semester.

if we could all just do whatever we liked to do, i'll just sit down somewhere n play with kids. =P or just draw... creativity is about experimentation... but i am not skilled enough to do so. in the meantime, i just continue to use my pencil, and sketch what i see, exactly the way i see it - provided i have the time.

so how do i make a living out of all this?

hmm...